Frost

A couple of nights ago for some reason I cannot fathom, something popped into my head. "Whose woods these are, I think I know. His house in the village, though. He will not see me stopping here to watch his woods fill up with snow." I have always been an enormous Robert Frost fan. "The Road Not Taken" is something everyone knows and many of us have thought it tells the story of our lives. I was so fortunate to be born and brought up in New England where his words ring so true. "Good fences make good neighhbors." Oh how that describes the attitude of New England! Once, for a year, Robert Frost lived in a house in Plymouth, New Hampshire where the college is located. There is a sign outside of The Frost House. You could almost feel him there. Of course now Plymouth State Teacher's College is Plymouth State University, part of the University of New Hampshire. It always had been but they had only dropped "Teacher's" from the name until recently. I kinda miss hearing someone say PSC. Not quite the same as PSU. But I digress.

Robert Frost was a wonderful poet and an interesting man. Reading his words always reminds me of home, of my family. These days those strong memories affect me profoundly. I have no family nearby except those dear friends who have become my new family. I have always kept my compendium of Frost's work near my bed so I could read it when I needed that touch of home. I think we all have something that reminds us of home, of growing up and happier days. Robert Frost's poetry is mine.

Friday! Friday!

Oh how I love doing the 5 days in 4 thingy so I have all of Friday off! I used to enjoy having the afternoon off - don't get me wrong. But I like having the ability to sleep in on a day other than Saturday. I am going to a yarn shop this morning and then shopping and lunch with my best friend. What more could a Mutant Penguin ask for on a sunny, warm California Friday? Nothin'. That's what.

WOOHOO!!!

YIPPIE! Jump for joy! My beloved missing glove was found by my best friend's daughter... it was in the mail bag at work which we use to take mail to the post office at night. I AM HAPPY!!!

Another Early Morning

But tomorrow I'm sleeping in!

The Sun, A Pork Roast, A Hose and A Stationary Bike

What do these have in common? Me. Despite the horrifically depressing loss of one of my favorite leather gloves, I enjoyed the warmth of the sun today (until my office hit 80!). I am cooking a pork roast for dinner, am moving the hose around to water my front and back yards and I have already done my time on the stationary bike. Gee, this means I can watch some of the tv I taped Monday night while I eat dinner! Yippie!

I am going to try to see things in a positive light. Nanette and Linda and Lisa are always encouraging me to be positive. So here goes. :)

Oh yeah... check my Crafty Rantings if you want to know what I'm doing Friday. hehehe

Alex and Stewie

I miss my cats Alex and Stewie. I don't miss the vet bills and costs of food and litter but I sure do miss their companionship and how they always wanted to be around me. I was never lonely when I had them. Sometimes I think I was stupid to give them up. Other times I'm glad they have a better home. But this morning, I miss them.

Aging

I feel my age this morning. Hopefully the coffee will help. Time to make a list of what I need to get done, what I would like to accomplish even if it's only for today. Maybe that's what I've been missing - goals. What am I striving for? What do I want to do? What do I want my life to really be like? I think I've been cruising on empty for a while. Time to fill up the tank again.

Early Mornings

Everyone thinks I'm a morning person because I post early and am up early. Well, frankly, no. I'd really rather be sleeping right now, warm under the down comforter, unaware that again my kitchen has blown a fuse and my fridge and microwave aren't working. Another early morning call to my landlord (she's wonderful!). The real reason I'm up is that when it stops raining, I will spend the time before work watering my large but beautiful lawn. I move my sprinkler every 15 minutes. It's good exercise. :)

Early morning I am worth nothing without my coffee. I need warmth. I need to ease into the day. I need a vacation.

Ah well, such is life. The day is bound to improve! Yours, too, I hope! Enjoy YOUR early morning.

Bedtime Prayers

Before I go to sleep I will say my bedtime prayers. Yes, I pray other times. While it may not be "politically correct", it's what's correct for me.

So tonight before I drift off to dreams, I will pray for you who are reading this writing. I will ask that my friends and family, my co-workers and their friends and families will be watched over and blessed. I will ask for some special help for Lexie and Robert and Tammy and Sally and David who is my ex-father-in-law. I will pray that Merry's David stay safe in Iraq and say thanks that my son-in-law Sean, the love of my daughter Ally's life, came home safely. And that she will not have to go there, too.

Tonight I will count my blessings and be thankful for them. I will ask for guidance and assistance, tolerance and patience and even motivation to be a better person, employee, friend, mother, sister, and daughter.

I do this every night. It's nothing new to me. I've done it every night since I was old enough to understand what it was and why it was a good thing to do. It isn't obligation that makes me do it - it's because it's part of who I am.

So tonight as I say my bedtime prayers, I will mention you, if not by name, by reference, and I will hope that your life is as blessed as mine has turned out to be in spite of the pain and mistakes and mis-steps. And when I awake in the morning, I will say a little "thank you" prayer for having woken up. For being able to get out of bed, get dressed, have a job to go to and a car to get me there that works. For the coffee I will drink in the warm house I have to live in. For being able to breathe and walk and hear (maybe not well but I can hear), for being able to see which really had me worried a couple of years ago.

There are a lot of blessings to be thankful for, all day long, be they little or big. I can't sleep unless I say my bedtime prayers. So tonight I will say them and add you to my list. Sleep well, be well, enjoy life. It is fleeting at best.

Philosophy

My philosophy of life is simple: You can't win them all but you can't lose them all either!

Why I Do What I Do

This is something that has been running around in my head for a while.

Here it is...

I want you to stop and think a moment before you answer the question I pose because you really need to take a good look inside yourself before you respond. The obvious answer to the question, "Why do you work?" is because you need the money. But what else compels you to do what you do? Maybe it's because it's interesting or fun or challenging or because it's what you went to school to learn. But WHY do you do what you do for work?

I have two little "stones" on my desk that I look at all the time which are my answer to the question. "Remember" and "Compassion". I am a probate paralegal because it pays the bills but what really makes the job satisfying for me, emotionally and spiritually, is that it allows me to empathize with others and help them through a difficult phase of their lives. "Remember" that the paperwork I do eases the load from someone else's shoulders, that the person listed as "decedent" was a real person who had a real life with family members and friends who are feeling pain. "Remember" that my experience, knowledge and skills are assisting those family members and friends. Mostly, "remember"
that "compassion" is more than just a word - it's an attitude in my job. Feel it for those involved. "Remember" that I, too, have once upon a time been in their shoes and wish I had met people who treated me with "compassion". I strive to be the kind of person I would like to have on my side during such a terrible time in my life.

I am very good at my job. But when I first took my job I was told that eventually it wouldn't bother me to read obituaries and that I wouldn't think of the files as anything but paperwork to be done. I made a promise to myself that because of my beliefs, my faith, my commitment to being the best person I can be, I would always "remember" and have "compassion".

There isn't a single obituary that crosses my desk that isn't read in its entirety. There isn't a single day I do not shed a tear for at least one of them even if I didn't know the individual. I am human and I feel. I "remember" and carry that "compassion" into my job. It does not make me weak. It makes me strong for those I am helping.

Yes, I work for a paycheck - a good paycheck. But I also work so that those I help know that they are not the only ones who "remember" and that there is "compassion" out there for them.

The day I stop feeling "compassion" and I don't "remember", I don't want to be a probate paralegal. More importantly, I won't deserve to be a probate paralegal.

Why do YOU do what you do?

Beginnings

This is for my personal thoughts. I am going to post up something I wrote a while ago concerning my job. Please feel free to comment.