Ramblings of A Mutant Penguin

The Mutant Penguin Herself Speaks - Personally

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Uninspired

I have not taken pictures or felt like blogging. I have been prepared for Christmas for quite some time. This Wednesday night I fly down south to spend Matt's birthday, Christmas and Ally and Sean's 6th anniversary with them. I have the whole week off between Christmas and New Year's so hopefully I will have pictures and inspiration and motivation to post.

Thanksgiving was wonderful with my adopted family in Gridley. Susan and Dan were in Reno but I still had a fabulous holiday. For the first time in years I did NOT go shopping on Black Friday. I looked around on the net but found no big deals on anything I wanted or, perhaps more accurately, found nothing I wanted or really needed. They don't sell handymen, do they.

I hope everyone's Christmas is joyous and filled with family, love and kindness. I consider my biggest present being able to be with my family. It doesn't happen often enough. Sadly the house sucks up way more money than I had hoped even without being able to get the repairs done. I am hoping maybe by spring everything can be done so I can refinance and not have to continually worry about losing my house in 4 years because I couldn't re-finance. There is no guarantee the bank won't call the entire loan due since that's the length of the loan.

I admit I have been feeling depressed and alone. I am lucky in that I get to see more of my friend Alma lately. I think what I need is a hug. And to find someone to help me fix the house. I am so happy and content here. The thought of losing the house makes me cry.

Last year at Christmas I was living in one room the size of my current bedroom. This year I have a house that I love with my beautiful decorations that sat in storage. My artificial tree in the corner of the front of the livingroom can be seen from both windows and shines with wonderful multi colored lights. I can watch tv and knit and be warm under a fleece blanket and sip cocoa. And look around at all this space and know it's mine.

Just wish that at times this big space had another body or two in it.

Christmas is a week from now. Each day is a blessing. Every breath a gift. Don't forget to tell someone you love them. Not just today but every day. Time is precious and short and running out. Try to go to sleep every night knowing you have done the best you can, that you have loved well and laughed and touched the life of someone else in a positive manner. What a fabulous present to give yourself and others year-round. Christmas comes but once a year. Love, kindness, sharing and consideration come all year. Or at least they should.