What's Up Penguin?
So, you don't really care what's been going on or where I've been or what I've been doing. You probably figure I've been knitting and working and wasting my time doing not much of anything and vegging in front of the tv. Oh yeah, and since it's summer, I've been watering the lawn. Do I sound like a content penguin? Or do I sound distressed that things just aren't quite how I want them to be?
I know that lately a very, very big part of why I am not content is that I really, really miss my family. I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day and to my brother at least twice a week. My daughter is very, very busy with school, having just moved, busy being pregnant and with the typical busy life of a young married lady. My son is going to school, too, and most males don't ever think about calling their mothers. Or anybody else for that matter. At least the ones I've ever known. :)
Yes, I've been watering the grass and knitting and watching tv, too. I've been organizing and working at my regular job and trying to be a decent person. And still, something seems to be missing. I'm seeing friends and going places and doing things and keeping busy. But you know, sometimes when it's 11pm at night on a Wednesday night and I can't sleep and there's nobody I can call, there's nobody in the house to talk to, I don't feel like turning on the computer and writing an email or surfing the net, I feel like I'm really missing something in life. I'm missing that feeling of being connected to someone, anyone. So I go to the bathroom, drink a glass of water and go back to bed. Repeat until sleep happens. It's not as bad as it seems. I'm not suffering from depression so much as it might seem like that... I think it's just more a lack of knowing what I want to do and when. Plans. I am a person who really likes to know what she's doing and when. So when I can't sleep, when things seem like they're blah, it's not depression so much as lack of direction.
I am looking for direction at the moment.
So until I find some direction, I am going to knit a bit, watch tv a bit and blog a bit. That'll keep me busy tonight. :)
Maybe I need a weekend out of town. Whaddya think?
I know that lately a very, very big part of why I am not content is that I really, really miss my family. I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day and to my brother at least twice a week. My daughter is very, very busy with school, having just moved, busy being pregnant and with the typical busy life of a young married lady. My son is going to school, too, and most males don't ever think about calling their mothers. Or anybody else for that matter. At least the ones I've ever known. :)
Yes, I've been watering the grass and knitting and watching tv, too. I've been organizing and working at my regular job and trying to be a decent person. And still, something seems to be missing. I'm seeing friends and going places and doing things and keeping busy. But you know, sometimes when it's 11pm at night on a Wednesday night and I can't sleep and there's nobody I can call, there's nobody in the house to talk to, I don't feel like turning on the computer and writing an email or surfing the net, I feel like I'm really missing something in life. I'm missing that feeling of being connected to someone, anyone. So I go to the bathroom, drink a glass of water and go back to bed. Repeat until sleep happens. It's not as bad as it seems. I'm not suffering from depression so much as it might seem like that... I think it's just more a lack of knowing what I want to do and when. Plans. I am a person who really likes to know what she's doing and when. So when I can't sleep, when things seem like they're blah, it's not depression so much as lack of direction.
I am looking for direction at the moment.
So until I find some direction, I am going to knit a bit, watch tv a bit and blog a bit. That'll keep me busy tonight. :)
Maybe I need a weekend out of town. Whaddya think?
posted by The Mutant Penguin Herself @ 7:13 PM
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