Advice

Someone gave me some advice today which the same person had given me a couple of months ago when I first became unemployed. Today, as in the past, it made me depressed.

This person is a friend and means well. I know that. And this person is probably correct. It's just something that is painful and I just can't face yet.

I've been told that I should already be starting to dispose of my household contents to prepare to leave my house behind and go live with my mother.

Yes, it's dismal out there. No jobs. No hope of jobs. And lucky me, so far all I get is 6 months of unemployment, no extension. Really great for those of us laid off after June 1, 2011. Sorry, you were laid off May 30, 2011 so you get 2 years of unemployment benefits. June 1, 2011 gets you 6 months. Yup, that's really fair.

I know all this and I try not to think about it or dwell on it because my entire future is totally uncertain. There is no hope, no security, not even any real way to feel better about any of this so I live day to day and don't plan much beyond the next couple of hours.

The suggestion that I need to get moving on disposing of my household hurt. I wanted to go straight to bed and cry myself to sleep. But I don't cry anymore. That's a luxury for people who have something they can lose. I am already resigning myself to the fact that there isn't anything there for me and what little I have is totally temporary. I don't want to live in a depressed state and I'm not in denial but I am not sure that advice like that does anything to help me prepare or cope emotionally.

It's hard to live when you feel hopeless. I pray a lot. I look for help and guidance and reassurance and at the moment there is only silence. I try to keep happy in words and actions because that is what is expected of me. It's not easy. And so please, don't give me this advice again and tell me it's for my own good. You think I don't already know I need to be letting go of life as I know it? I do. Instead of giving me this kind of advice how about a hug instead? I sure could use one of those.

Interview Tips

Here are some tips I have gathered from what to do or not do concerning an interview.

1. Wear simple jewelry. Don't wear big hoop earrings or dangling bracelets.

2. Don't use too much makeup and avoid eyes that look like Elizabeth Taylor in the movie "Cleopatra" or Tammy Faye Baker Messner. Go look her up if you have to and you'll see what I mean. (This is no problem for me since my idea of makeup is to put on some lipstick.)

3. Even if you wear a necklace with a cross on it every day, don't wear it to the interview. Or any religious symbol. That way you don't offend anyone's religion, including your own.

4. I used to always wear a white shirt, black pants and a black jacket with black shoes. Well I found out if you wear a jacket you are always overdressed. Stick to something simple but flattering. For instance, a dress isn't typically flattering for me because I am short and fat. But a matching shirt and skirt set looks good.

5. Always arrive early.

6. At the end of the interview when you are asked if you have any questions you should never inquire about: a) salary, b) benefits, c) hours, d) anything else that makes it sound like you're more interested in what you GET from the job than what you can GIVE to the job.

7. Fold your hands and cross your ankles.

8. Remember your manners. Say "thank you".

9. Before you get to the interview do the personal things you need to do such as using the restroom, blowing your nose or clearing your throat.

10. Answer the questions as YOU, not as who they're looking for to fit the job. If YOU fit the job that will show. Be genuine, don't pause too long before you answer and don't, under any circumstance, lie.

If you're lucky enough to get an interview which is a huge step towards getting the job, try not to be your own worst enemy.

I'm still working on that one.