Update

Mom went home Thursday and is taking her meds and not overdoing it which is good. Wish I were there but distance, money and time are the typical problem.

Next weekend I will be at Fort Bragg with Jo. That should be a lot of fun!!

I have been working on a few crafting projects but not too much else. I am enjoying the end of the California winter. I am not looking forward to 6-7 months of lawn watering because it takes a lot of time and I have to rearrange my schedule to spend most of my time getting that done which means I need to be home. When it's sunnier and warmer I like going other places. We'll see if I can't find some way to balance that better this year.

Talked to my friend Jeannie today and caught up on what's happening with her and a mutual college friend. We see each other once a year but it doesn't seem like enough, y'know?

The older I get the more of a hermit I become. It should bother me but it doesn't.

Every Saturday here's what I do:

Get up and brew a pot of coffee. Start the laundry. Drink coffee and answer email (or write emails that are new instead of just a "reply"!), play some computer games and then move the clothes to the dryer (or if I already did that at some point, take the clothes out and put thema way). Take a shower.

Some Saturdays I get up really early and get to Coscto when it opens at 9:30am. Not this week, though.

I do whatever errands I have to do. Stop at Togo's on the way home for a hot pastrami sandwich. Get home, eat the sandwich, knit, knit, knit, knit, crochet, knit, knit, watch at least one movie from the Sci Fi channel and then watch whatever movie from Netflix that arrives in the mail. Knit, email, watch tv and eventually go to bed.

Today, though I am going to dinner with David and dad and we'll watch movies or "Lost" or both.

Tomorrow I am breaking my usual Sunday cycle. I will take a shower and get dressed and go buy some Girl Scout cookies from my favorite Girl Scout. Then I may go to WalMart and pick up some things for my trip as well as look at lampshades. I wanted to today but couldn't find the motivation.

I lead a boring life. I don't really mind. I can't say I'm truly happy but for the most part I am content. I'd like more ambition, more motivation to do other things. But I've spent years motivating myself and until I find something that really inspires me, I think I'll just keep moving ahead in my rut, eating my Saturday pastrami sandwiches, watching bad movies and knitting. It's not that bad a life. At least it's comforting. :)

Mom

My mom is 74 years old. I love her dearly and don't see her anywhere near enough. I worry about her. My brother doesn't have as much time to see her as he'd like but fortunately his oldest son is now temporarily living with Mom. This is good. She is in the hospital with double pneumonia. Not good. I've talked to her twice today and will call her again. I wish I were there. I want to make sure she does what they tell her to do and she understands it's to keep her alive. It bothers me when she says she's OK with dying. I'm not. She's still here for a reason. Maybe that reason is that her family still needs her. Well, at least I know I do.

So if I am having trouble concentrating on work or anything else, if I seem lost in a fog or I cry at the drop of a hat, please understand it's just worry. And frustration at not being there and able to do anything.

It sucks to get old. But it sucks so much more to not.