How Do You Say...

"I love you" to those you love? Here's a clue...

You don't ignore them.
You don't act like they don't exist.

Instead you might try this...

Call them. Let them know you're thinking about them and are concerned. Not out of obligation. Out of LOVE.

If you're far apart at least once a week make sure they're still alive. I have set up an "I'm OK" system with another friend who lives alone. Unlike me, however, she has family nearby who DOES check on her weekly. I do not.

If you haven't heard from me in a while does it ever occur to you that I might have died? Do you remember that I'm diabetic? That I have no health insurance? That I no longer have a job where people see me on a daily basis or who would miss me if I didn't show up? That I am probably the most depressed I have ever been except for the period where my baby daughter died? That all it takes to make my day is the sound of your voice? Or an email that says "hi"? Just to know you care. That I exist. That I matter to someone.

I email my friend Tammy every day. I talk to Amy on the phone every day. I know they care about me. My friend Alma calls every couple of days. I haven't seen her in a month but we talk and email a lot. Sometimes I email other people like Jo or Vicky or Merry. I apologize that I can't always be upbeat. I am NOT rising above this misery in my life. I am trying. But not doing all that well. I am trying to have hope in a situation that generates no hope. And after a while nobody really wants to hear it anymore. It's just a case of "get over it" or "move on". Except that is easier said than done.

It is easier to handle the day to day hard things with support, knowing people care about you and love you and are there for you.

How do you say "You matter to me"?

You might want to think about that. After a while even the most persistent person stops banging their heart against the wall when they don't get a response. Even me.