Long Distance Love
You know, for many years now I have had to have a long distance relationship with many people I love dearly. Over 21 years ago I moved 3500 miles away from my parents and twin brother. It was very hard. Den and I have always been close. Thanks to the internet we have been able to email and instant message each other. And then life got a lot harder. I was about to be divorced with no job, no place that would rent to me and I was forced to go where there were jobs. That ended up being 4 hours away. My children wanted to stay at their schools. So here I was, 4 hours north, my children not with me, not even really hardly ever seeing them. I was no longer a part of their lives. I cannot possibly tell you how much that hurt me. Or, for that matter, how much it still hurts me.
I live here alone, far, far in northern California. My children live way, way south of me. My mother and brother still live 3500 miles away. So I am forced to have a long distance relationship with them. Long distance love sucks especially when you're as attached and family oriented as I am.
Point out to me, if you will, that I could change that. I could move back east. Then I'd only miss my children and now my grandson. I could move south and then just still be away from my mother and brother. And here's the kicker... my children are young. They are not settled where they will be all their lives. So at 50 I move down south, leave behind a job I love that so far manages to support me, a gorgeous house and truly wonderful, loving, devoted friends who are stable and will most certainly always be in this area. I can't do it... so I have to find a way to make this work.
Usually twice a year I go visit my mother. This year instead of doing that I went to a convention and spent 2 weeks in October. This next year, 2007, I will be spending what's left of my 2006 (and a little 2007) vacation time visiting Ally, Sean and Matt. I am trying to plan a vacation in May that will involve family. And in October I would like to go to NH to be with my brother and mother for a while. So I am working on how I can still have 2 vacations a year and spend time with family back east and down south. This will not be easy. Financially it's hard to go south and have to stay in a hotel. I won't this first time. But it's awkward to go visit only if I can stay with them. They probably won't like it much. Once I think they can tolerate. I stay with my mom when I go east but that's worked for years. It's the down south vacation that I will have to work out detail-wise.
How do I handle long distance family?
Again, let me state... long distance love sucks. Maybe not always but most of the time.
I live here alone, far, far in northern California. My children live way, way south of me. My mother and brother still live 3500 miles away. So I am forced to have a long distance relationship with them. Long distance love sucks especially when you're as attached and family oriented as I am.
Point out to me, if you will, that I could change that. I could move back east. Then I'd only miss my children and now my grandson. I could move south and then just still be away from my mother and brother. And here's the kicker... my children are young. They are not settled where they will be all their lives. So at 50 I move down south, leave behind a job I love that so far manages to support me, a gorgeous house and truly wonderful, loving, devoted friends who are stable and will most certainly always be in this area. I can't do it... so I have to find a way to make this work.
Usually twice a year I go visit my mother. This year instead of doing that I went to a convention and spent 2 weeks in October. This next year, 2007, I will be spending what's left of my 2006 (and a little 2007) vacation time visiting Ally, Sean and Matt. I am trying to plan a vacation in May that will involve family. And in October I would like to go to NH to be with my brother and mother for a while. So I am working on how I can still have 2 vacations a year and spend time with family back east and down south. This will not be easy. Financially it's hard to go south and have to stay in a hotel. I won't this first time. But it's awkward to go visit only if I can stay with them. They probably won't like it much. Once I think they can tolerate. I stay with my mom when I go east but that's worked for years. It's the down south vacation that I will have to work out detail-wise.
How do I handle long distance family?
Again, let me state... long distance love sucks. Maybe not always but most of the time.
posted by The Mutant Penguin Herself @ 7:10 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:46 PM,
k said…
My whole family's in Texas, and I'm not. I think we are about 1,500 miles apart. It's no easier now than when I first moved out to LA, and then DC. I make do with weekly calls/letters to mom and instant messenger/webcams to my sister. This Christmas/Thanksgiving was particularly hard.
I do think about moving closer after graduation (possibly Austin) but that's just one of about a dozen places I'm considering- I'll have to go where the best job and quality of life are. And there is (somewhat crazy) part of me that eventually wants to move overseas to NZ/Australia.
So I've resigned myself to knowing this will probably be a long distance relationship for quite some time.
At 1:06 PM,
The Guardian said…
You poor dear. Long distance relationship does suck swamp water, but fortunately, you have family who still keep in touch and you look forward to your visits. And of course, you have a beautiful new grandbaby. Sometimes life just doesn't seem to work out like we would hope it could or would, but life happens to us all. For you, you have a warm and outgoing personality and many, many friends who love and enjoy you. So you are very lucky on one hand that you have family there and you have family here. . . so you always have warm hearts and smiles from those who care about you. Pity the poor souls who don't have anyone. . .not even 3,000 miles away. You are really lucky in many ways, but I know it would be nice to have mom down the street and brother close by to visit with more than once or twice a year. Hope you have a wonderful 2007. . .your friend at ECS.
Post a Comment
<< Home