The Sounds of Silence

I am feeling like listening to some classic Simon and Garfunkel. So that's what I put on the stereo. I was suffering from the sounds of silence.

I don't think anyone reads this blog. It's just a place to keep a diary of things that affect my life for my own use. Does anyone read this? I'm not sure it really matters.

Last night I did something I am sure I will regret. I wrote an email to my daughter and told her how I'd been feeling. I don't expect to be a part of her everyday life. Just once in a while it would be nice to feel like I'm remembered. I won't go anywhere uninvited. But I don't even get the invitation. I know she loves me. I know she's busy. But is that reason to act like I don't exist? People who don't like their parents ignore them. If you care about someone, I was always brought up that you let them know.

And so, this Saturday afternoon before I go switch the hoses again, even though none of these people will see it, I want them to know I love them and that they are important to my life. Not just my Mom and Den and Ally and Andy and Sean and Matt. People I don't normally say it to. People I do. People I try to say it to but fail.

I love you.

Here's just a few of you, in no particular order.

Jo, Amy, Susan, Julie, Heather, Kaylee, Vicky, Merry, Jeannie, Bev, Torse, Rae, Scott, Dana, David, Kathy the southern belle, Terri (wherever you are these days), Ryan, Dev, Rick, Tracy, Jaynie, Brooke, Isabelle, Kelly, Dani, Sammy, Little Robert, Ruth, Martha, Rosemary, Priscilla, Cel.

I can't list everyone. Just these who are on my mind and in my heart at the moment.

Nobody has to read this but me.

Sometimes I just wish I felt like I mattered to someone. Just for a little while.

It's Saturday and I sit here in the sounds of silence listening to my past and hoping I have more than just today as a future.

Saturdays don't seem to be very good to me, huh.