Saturday Morning Slowness

I am so slow this morning. I can't seem to get motivated to do much of anything. It is over 100 every day and even WITH air conditioning I am not motivated to do a lot. Crafting needs to happen so I will force myself.

I am going to call Susan later and arrange to go to her house. I want to drop off the scarves I made her granddaughters. I've been putting that off.

I'd like to talk to Ally. I have no idea what her plans are regarding moving. Or if I should be planning a trip for Christmas.

This year the only holiday that has really had any significance was Mother's Day when I visited my mom. I used to spend a few days in the summer with Susan and her family but they are really busy this year. Amy is busy pursuing a boyfriend, I think, and has other things she's doing. David and Dad don't really celebrate holidays. The sad fact is I am feeling isolated and alone a lot. But I'm not going to dwell on that today. Things are the way they are and we adjust.

I also know that a big part of why I am feeling this way is that it's July. It's truly the saddest month for me. Shannon died in July. Even after 22 years I miss her terribly. And I still feel guilty and pray for forgiveness. I will never forgive myself, I know. I will always miss her. And wonder what she would be like now. So July is typically a bad month for me emotionally. And it's hard to be around other people even though I need to be.

So today I am going to Susan's and perhaps I will work on something crafty to get out of the slowness and the drearies that seem to have hit me this morning.

I've also got to start planning my October vacation. Wish the Celtics would put up their game schedule. That's what's been holding me up! ARGH!