Mother's Day, Other Holidays & Being Alone & Single

It's Mother's Day next Sunday. I will call my Mom. This is the first time in four years that I will not be there. I will be at a convention for Legal Secretaries. I admit I will miss being with my Mom. So I will make time in the morning to call her on the cell phone and then I'll call my daughter and give her an estimate of when I'll be home so she can call me. We live a long distance apart. And now she's going to be a Mom. I think our jobs as Mothers are to prepare our daughters to be mothers and then walk away and let them live their own lives, make their own mistakes and learn on their own. Yes, always be there to answer questions or offer support or love or just listen. I have tried to be that without being totally out of her life. I do not know if I've been successful. I call my own mother at least 4 times a week to stay in touch. I can't tell you if that is for me or her or both. Maybe both. I have looked forward to being back East for Mother's Day these last few y ears because being alone on Mother's Day is hard. It's hard as a single person with family far away as it is on a holiday. My friend Susan has adopted me and I spend Christmas with her family. Thanksgiving, too, if I'm here. I would be terrifically lonely otherwise. I can't afford to travel to be with my family as often as I'd like. I could move closer but then lose the friends I have who are like family. A rock and a hard place. Sometimes, even times other than holidays, it's hard to be alone and single. I am blessed with family and good friends, a good job, a wonderful place to live. But sometimes you just need someone to hug. Mother's Day will be busy in the morning and I will be with friends. I will call my Mom and my daughter. Then I will come home and be alone. Like every other day. This was my choice. What was I thinking?!?